Rick Santorum http://blog.spreadingsantorum.com/

Rick Santorum http://blog.spreadingsantorum.com/

Rick Santorum http://blog.spreadingsantorum.com/

Former Senator Rick Santorum

Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum

Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum

Rick Santorum Stupid Quotes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP3DaOjciZc&noredirect=1

So true

 Grammar, some of us have it some don't.  It's tricky sometimes to know the difference between its/it's, to/too and so forth. 

I must admit, I still have trouble with affect/effect. The link is a funny, somewhat NSFW, look at common grammar missteps.


http://i.imgur.com/HL1ZR.jpg

Termite Inspection

Re: Termite Inspection

As impressed as I might be with your wake-up call at 8:00am, I am equally appalled at your lack of professionalism with your supposedly inspection; that, in fact, consisted of a balding middle-aged man walking around my apartment tapping the handle-end of a flat-head (presumably this “tool” works better than the ubiquitous Phillips head, or heaven forbid, the torque-head screwdriver)  at the bottom of various walls.  One might assume that the bottom of the wall divulged more secrets than, say perhaps, the top of the wall; or the middle of the wall?  And really, do the termites congregate at the bottom of the wall in greater frequency than at the top?  One might, I say might as I only have a masters degree, so bare with me, that termites might, just...ok bare with me here, just might “hang-out” where, gasp, there’s wood?  You think you could get that fat bastard to venture up into the attic?  I mean, hold on here, there’s wood up there, right?  And, still there?, the termites might be hanging out munchin’ on some wood and stuff? 

I know, I know, I’m just jealous.  Forty-thousand in student loans; sixty-five hours a week of work for a minimal forty-hour stipend; you might think I was bitter and jaded?  Not really.  I just want to know how I, someone with all, ok most, of my teeth and my complete cortex can land such a lucrative “career” as termite inspector?  I mean, I can supply my own screwdriver!  Think of the savings in employee expenses you can have?  

Incomprehensible Rant for the Incompetent

You’s lawn mowers types have onc’er ‘gen mowed over mores of my’s greenerys.  Why’s you can’t sees what’s in plains sites of yer’s own eyes, is beyond me’s comprehension.  I know’s tis bee’s so difficults to operates such difficult machineries, but maybes you’s needs to drink less old miluwakees (is does get beeter than that) and focuses more on theses blades of grasses.  Perhaps you’s needs some better glasses?  Perhaps you’s should have studdied betters in grammers scools and spent less times with them theres sheeps in ag classes.  I means, hows hards tis it to mow some grass?  Where be da problems with doing dat?  Whys cant bees you numb knuts just foliage 

Maintenance Services

Re: landscaping (sic) services

Dear Ms. Avery,

Practically every time you and your crew mow the lawn at 919/921 NE 6^th Avenue, you manage to destroy something.  For you convenience, and to minimize the destruction of property at said address, I have provided you and your crew with a simple check-list of do’s and don’ts.

1. Under no circumstances are you to ever mow, weed-wack, mangle, trample or generally destroy my garden again.  The only reason I took time to border the perimeter of my garden with wood and raise the bed and stake it off, was to provide a clear delineation of where the garden stops and the grass begins.  You and your crew hold the distinction as the only morons to ever mow my garden. 
   
2. Under no circumstances are you to ever use that leaf-blower under my carport or on the skirt leading up to the carport again.  Do you think the dirt particles magically disappear as soon as they disappear from the concrete?  This is where they go: through the screens of my open windows and then settle on everything inside the apartment.  In addition, my motorcycle is parked under the carport, and I am sure you don’t want a bill to repaint it after you have sand blasted it.  If you must use that abhorrent machine, use it in the street only.
   
3. I want to remind you that spring is here.  This means that much of the foliage surrounding the apartment is growing.  Spring is NOT the time to hack back the growth.  Also, please refrain from running the riding-lawn-mower too close.  If you are even the slightest unsure that you will not clear the shrubbery, leave it!  I will gladly come behind you and clip any grass (weeds) that are too close. 
   
4. Last, if you ever have any issues with my garden, or anything that you perceive is within your grass-duties domain, you need to contact the owners of the property or Turlington Real Estate.  I will not tolerate any more of your disregard for my property.  Should you continue in this regard, the next contact you will have from me will be a subpoena to small claims court—and given the mass of complaints against you, I feel rather confident in this regard.

cc

921 NE 6^th Avenue

Turlington Real Estate